Bird Poo: Not So Lucky for Your Car

Your car or truck is a big investment, and it needs to be protected.

Whether a garage, carport, or lean-to, your car needs shelter from the weather, the blazing sun, and bird poo.

Yes, you heard me. Bird poo.

Like a lot of you, I never really concerned myself much with bird droppings. It’s just a little doodie, after all. No big deal. Heck, lots of people even think it’s lucky to get hit with a birdie bomb.

As World of Feng Shui states: “Many people believe this to be a major sign of wealth coming from heaven. Hence, although, it is really yucky and a major inconvenience, when something like this happens to you, take comfort in the fact that this is described as good luck being just around the corner!”

The guide goes on to say that most things associated with birds are good luck, such as when birds make nests in and around your house. The guide encourages feeding the birds, and claims they are powerful protectors and guardians.

And, as some have said, certainly having a bird poop on you is lucky. You’re very lucky it wasn’t an elephant.

I for one can attest that a fully-loaded robin is nothing to sneeze at. I once startled a momma bird who had been nesting in a shed, and during her flight she dropped a bomb on me that could not have possibly come from something that small. It hit half my head, ran down my hair, onto my check, and partially down my neck. I don’t know if I had better luck that week, but I do know I was pretty grossed out.

Other people have reported having good gambling or job luck shortly after being the recipient of a bird bomb. Some just report feeling disgusted. But, it is just a little poo. No big deal.

Well, bird poop might not be a big deal, but bird pee sure is.

In case you never took the time to notice, most bird droppings are composed of a dark and light portion. The dark portion is fecal matter, and the lighter portion is the bird equivalent of urine.

It’s this urine, actually very concentrated uric acid, that causes damage to your vehicle.

This uric acid is why some animal droppings are used as fertilizer. And although pigeons aren’t usually regarded as agricultural helpers, bird and bat guano are considered very high grade fertilizer.

The high uric acid in bird droppings are why (brace yourself) some luxury spas use bird poop for a facial ingredient. Nightingale poop, in particular, is the latest rage. Some report that Asian women have used nightingale droppings as a skin treatment for thousands of years. Victoria and David Beckham are apparently big fans of the bird-poo face-do as well, as the UK Daily Mail has reported.

This really isn’t that big of a surprise. If you check the labels on your beauty products, you’ll find that a substantial amount of them contain urea, uric acid, or carbamide—a product of urea. Some of these are synthetic compounds, but the results are the same.

Urea slows down the loss of moisture from a product; when used in skin care products it increases the water content of the top layers of the skin. Urea also minimizes the change in the pH balance of a product when other ingredients are added to that product. Urea is often used as a preservative, as it keeps bacteria from growing in ointments and lotions.

So there’s lucky poo, and plant-growth poo, and even beauty poo. It seems there are a lot of uses for poo.

But you know where you can’t use bird poop? On your car’s paint.

A pH of 3.5 to 4.5 makes bird bombs very acidic, and acidic equals corrosive. 

Bird droppings can dimple, fade, or crack your car’s finish. They can cause damage within minutes on hot, dry days, and within hours in other conditions. Further, birds have small bits of grit in their poo, which can scratch your vehicle’s paint when you try to wipe it off.

You’re much better off never having poop on your vehicle in the first place, but if you should find yourself bird-bombed, the best way to get poo off is to get it as soon as possible.

Spray the offending feces off with water, then wash with soap and water.

The soap does two things, gets rid of the excrement, and provides alkalinity to offset the bird poop’s acidity.

There are also cleaning wipes available, but be careful for the gritty bits that may be lurking.

Let your car dry completely. If you notice staining or clouding, wait several days for it to clear up, then apply wax. Keep your car waxed to provide a safety layer between your car and the outside world.

And then keep it covered up. Birds know when you’ve just washed your car. It’s like an engraved invitation for carpet bombing.

If the bird poo has already etched into your car’s clear coat, you will have to do quite a lot of work to repair it.

Repairing poo-damaged paint can be really time-intensive. You’re better off not having to deal with the doodie in the first place, so keep your car covered.

Covering your car can be a pain if you don’t have a garage and need to rely on a car cover, so consider investing in a carport kit. They’re pretty affordable, and compared to the price of your car’s paint job, a downright bargain.

Poo isn’t so terrible if it ruins your shirt, but it can do some serious damage to your vehicle. Prevent the damage in the first place by properly waxing and sheltering your car from the elements, including the avian ones.

I guarantee you’ll feel lucky when you don’t have to scrub poo.