Portable Air Compressors: Toys for Men

I may get into trouble with all my friends for writing this, but women, I've got to come clean. We men have been keeping a secret from you all these years. That's right--we've been keeping something back, hiding it, cherishing our own little secret.

The truth is, our tools are our toys. We love any tool we can carry around: our drills, screwdrivers, chain saws, and especially, our portable air compressors. Ah yes, those powerful, versatile power plants that pack so much punch and bring such joy to a working man's heart.

I remember as a teenager doing roofing with an older man (I thought he was old at the time--maybe 40) who treated his relationship with his power tools as his most cherished worldly association. His dog was a close second. (His wife was a not-too-distant third.) I still remember the look on his face and the fire in his eyes when I accidentally dropped my hammer off the roof and hit his air compressor. He flew into a rage and let out a string of profanities the likes of which I had never heard.

Of course, this is not much of a surprise to anybody who has worked around roofers at all.  They are a salty bunch.  What was surprising was that this man was usually as calm as a pond at evening. For example, the time I accidentally shot him in the leg with my nail gun, he looked at me, sullenly shifted his gaze to his injured leg, jerked out the nail, and muttered, "Dang, that hurt!"

We men act like working with our tools is a miserable drudgery, but only because we want to be alone with our tools. Don't believe me? Consider how we men sweat until we stink, and how we sulk around, grumble, and complain whenever we use our air compressors. What we really want is to be left alone, so we make it unpleasant for anybody to be with us.

But deep inside, we're having a great time. If you ever get a chance, try to steal a glimpse of a man working with his tools. I can almost guarantee that he'll have a wide grin on his face, and he'll be joyfully tightening the screws, wiping off the grime, and checking the oil.

Women, if you really want to understand your man, just look at your little boys. You know your sons go for anything that moves on its own, makes noise, and has the potential for hurting them. It's no different for your big boys. The little boy who loved his remote control truck and propped his GI Joe in the front seat will go bonkers over a real-sized truck that he can climb into himself.

And power tools are no different. The little boy who played with water toys in the bathtub and spit mouthfuls of water on his sister in the kitchen will undoubtedly, when he becomes a man, get real satisfaction using his air compressor and pressure washer to wash his car and strip the paint from his shed or barn.

The wise woman is the one who understands this fascination and uses it to her advantage. She doesn't overtly acknoweldge what she knows, because that would ruin the fantasy. Rather, she plays along and gives her man the chance to be a kid again with tools/toys that move on their own, make a lot of noise, and have the potential to hurt him.

One final word to the wise. If you ever wonder what to give your working man sweetheart, you need go no further than his workbench. Call his brother or his dad and ask them what tool your man wishes he had. Chances are, he will have been talking about it. (When you get with your friends, you may talk about any number of things, but you can be sure, when he's with his friends, he's talking about what he's built or repaired and the tools he's used.)

And when you're talking with this brother, ask him if he's got the tool he's suggesting you get for your man. If he does, ask him how many horsepower his tool has. And when you buy that tool for your man, get him one with more horsepower. You'll be amazed at the improvement in your marriage!

Now, one more thing. If your working man doesn't have a workbench, by all means, get him one! If you do, he'll look at you as his source of true joy. Without ever saying a word about acting out his childhood dreams, you will have made them all come true.  The wise woman will not miss that chance.